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"She's cleva.... always on ya' mind...."

 So after reading my last entry i decided it was time to update a little...

I'm keeping my major...i've had a ROUGH semester to say the least...and i survived it. 

This month....::sigh:: i think God decided to make my life crazy for a little bit...here's what made it crazy...

-ex boyfriend coming back in the picture
-ex "lover" back in the picture
-dealing with long distance relationship =(
-money issues
-work!
-math...bleh
-temptation with ex
-being faithful =D
-rekindling the flame with my boyfriend =D
-parents issues
-Ivry issues
-FINALLY being able to stand up for myself =)

This month has been an emotional roller coaster!!!! But....i am happy. Happier than i've been in a long, long, long, long, long, LONG time =)


Thomas, Vince, Long and Petey came down to see me....i'm still riding the high =) For three days i had a REAL LIFE boyfriend. Let me tell you girls something... 

DON'T EVER TAKE THIS FOR GRANTED!!!! 

*Holding hands
*Actually SEEING each other...even if it's for a couple of mins
*Kissing
*Going on dates

Everything i know about relationships was thrown out the window with Thomas...he's changed me...in a good way...I've denied EVERY temptation i've had with other guys...and usually that's not like me. Obviously...he's different. I love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is how i know that i'm whipped...
We were walking to my car and i couldn't stop kissing him. I knew in the back of my mind that i wasn't gonna see him for a long while. We finally said our good-byes and parted. 30 seconds after i pull out of the parking lot....this feeling in the pit of my stomach rose...i started breathing heavy and suddenly burst into tears. I was literally sobbing down the street because i knew he was truly leaving. 

I want no other man. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So on to the subject of my parents.

I won't give details because...it's too much to type. 

but two nights ago...a weight had been lifted. I no longer feel guilty...i no longer feel the need to stay and be a "good daughter".  The cord has been cut. Amy is ready to spread her wings. Finally. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friends....

...how many of us have them? =D

Blue came back into my life this month. It was pretty surreal...that night it was like nothing had ever happened...we were talking and joking and carrying on! And to be honest...i was over everything. I don't hate him...i actually love hanging out with him now...Him and i have both grown up and...i really enjoy hanging out with him. It's sad that he's actually the man i wanted him to be so many years ago...but that's just the way things happen i suppose...But i've spoken with him and he knows that all we'll ever be is friends. I'm happy that we're over it =D That's what GROWING UP is ALL ABOUT


My Mona...i never thought her and i would be as close as we've become...she's been my joking around buddy, my advice giver, my shoulder to cry on, my venting whore, my...well BEST friend. Now...some stuff has happened this month and as her best friend...it makes me disappointed. Shouldn't this stuff be left in HIGH SCHOOL? You'd think that a year away from home would make one grow up and see the big picture...apparently i was mistaken. While you're throwing your tantrums...she's here trying to make it work. You're the one to blame...i'm sorry to say. A friendship takes two....not one person sucking up to you 24/7. Again my THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS...."if you don't like it....don't read my journal". =)

Lydia...no matter how much distance is between us you will ALWAYS continue to be my heart and soul! I love how no matter what, we can ALWAYS pick up where we left off....i trust you with EVERYTHING...i can't wait to be in SA with you =D BFF

"See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
My ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I dont walk around trying to be what Im not
I dont waste my time trying to get what you got
I work at pleasin me, cause I cant please you 
and thats why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree
Doo wee doo wee doo wee"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel stronger. I feel happy. I feel empowered. 

I will no longer believe that i "can't" ...i can do ANYTHING i put my mind to. Your psychological restraints are GONE. Thanks mom and dad. 

I have friends that love me and will take care of me the moment i need them to. REAL friends that go beyond the call of friendship and go straight to FAMILY. I love you guys so much....really i do. 

I say this to anyone who needs a boost in their life right now...if things seem at their worst...remember they can only get better. 

ALWAYS follow your dreams and don't let ANYONE tell you..."you can't".

Love Always,
Amy Le Singer

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
bahamut_zero_x
Jun. 27th, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
Hmmm...ok.

Amy, I don't really know you, but it's good to hear another side of a story, though obviously there are probably many, many things that have been left unsaid. So...

Oh well. :)
evilpiggie
Jun. 27th, 2008 08:13 pm (UTC)
=) Allow myself to introduce...myself... =) I'm Amy Hernandez...and you are?
bahamut_zero_x
Jun. 27th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
=) My name is Ernesto Lopez, but everyone calls me Ernie. Uh...I'm a friend of Ivry's from college. Uh...I'm originally from PSJA. Aaaaannddd....I play percussion.
evilpiggie
Jun. 28th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
Hi =D

and apparently you marched bones! That's awesome! I love xmen! Do you remember a guy named Matt? He was a percussionist with xmen too...
bahamut_zero_x
Jun. 28th, 2008 04:10 am (UTC)
Hello. =)

Yes I did marched Xmen. Uh...Matt Hernandez, played in the front ensemble? or uh...another Matt who played tenors?
evilpiggie
Jun. 28th, 2008 04:44 pm (UTC)
Matt Hernandez is my cousin! I love him! =D
bahamut_zero_x
Jun. 28th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
Oh ok. What a small world, hahaha. He's at Colts right now. I'll see him at DCI San Antonio in July.
evilpiggie
Jun. 29th, 2008 02:56 pm (UTC)
yeah i marched with Cadets in 06! I'm gonna be at DCI too! Maybe i'll see you there? =)
bahamut_zero_x
Jun. 29th, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC)
Oooooooooooooh. Yeah I'll probably see you there.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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Gardina
evilpiggie
Mexican formerly known as MaRiA ToRTiLLa
Muh Space!

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